Sunday, September 2, 2012

Goddess of the Hunt II

Part II
Narrated by Jellicle
Starring Naja as Artemis
and a brief cameo by a special Mystery Guest
 
(Warning: May contain graphic disturbing images not suitable for those with sensitive tummies.)
 
Scene:  Saturday afternoon, Jellicle has just returned from the store and is busy unpacking groceries. 

Artemis, the mighty hunter, having been awakened from her afternoon nap, is patrolling the kitchen perimeter.  She stops near the door, whiskers and tail twitching, a new scent is in the air.  A stranger has breached her domain.... 

 
Jellicle:  Naja, what are you doing?
 
 
Naja: I'm not doing nuffing!
 

 
Jellicle goes back to her task but as soon as her back is turned, Naja begins poking at something in Jelli's shoe!
 

Once more, Jellicle goes to investigate but this time she sneaks up on the mighty hunter.
 

Uh-oh!  Where did it go?
 

Naja:  It hiding under dis shoe!
 
 
Jellicle lifts up the shoe....
 

and finds the mutilated body of a mini Godzilla. 
 
His tail has fallen off and his feet appear to be dysfunctional but he is still squirming.
Ugh....Jellicle gets a wad of paper towels and takes him outside far away from the house (where he grew new feet and a tail and lived happily ever after). 
Then she cleans up bits of tail and lizard blood that are inexplicably on the floor, not the rug.
 
   Artemis now guards the kitchen faithfully,  ever hopeful that another monster will appear.  
 
Note:  It isn't that Jellicle objects to the cats killing and eating their prey (eww, gross) but her bed is where they like to take all their favorite toys to 'kill'.  That very morning,  they brought a very mushy blueberry, stolen from the bowl on the counter, to play with in the bed.   Blueberry juice is hard enough to get out of the sheets and carpet and she doesn't want to wake up with a dead lizard on her pillow!

 

 
 

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Goddess of the Hunt

Part 1
Narrated by Jellicle
Starring Naja in the role of Artemis


In the wee hours of the night when the moon is high and nocturnal creatures are on the prowl, Artemis, Queen of the Night, stalks her prey.

She slinks across the carpet and has no pity for the unwary creature she has set her sights upon.
She slithers under the bed and attacks the plastic encasing the box springs.
Rattle! Rattle!
Jellicle: Naja! Cut it out!
Naja: I'm not doing nuffing!

She  sights her quary, the elusive fuzzy tipped Q-Tip.  They hole up by day in that little blue tin on the vanity and creep out for nightly revels.  If she is sneaky, she might surprise them in their lair.  
Rattle! Rattle!
Jellicle: Naja! Cut it out! What are you messing with?
Naja: I'm not doing nuffing!

Naja:  <munch, munch>
In the morning, Jellicle climbs out of bed and steps on dead Q-tips that litter the carpet.





Sunday, July 8, 2012

105 in the Shade

Or 'What Cats do when it is really hot outside'


Find a sunny ledge

Big Stretch

When your eyes feel heavy, don't fight it...

Just give in to it.

Not sleepy?
Wait a few minutes

Going...Going.. 

Gone!


Sunday, July 1, 2012

Monkey Business

There has been some kind of mix-up!

Last December, Jellicle thought she was bringing home two adorable kittens.

She was duped!  She actually brought home one adorable kitten and one baby monkey.

Recently, Prishe and Naja discovered the bay window in the living room.  The plants Jellicle was hiding there were no longer safe from enthusiastic young gardeners.  The plants needed to be moved but where?  Ah ha!  The top of the floor-to-ceiling entertainment center was just the spot!

The baby monkey watched as Jellicle relocated the pots.  A grin lit up her little monkey face.  This would be child's play!

Jellicle sat down on the sofa to read.  In a few minutes, a noise drew her gaze to the entertainment center.  Her jaw dropped in astonishement as she watched the baby monkey in action. 


I know what you are thinking.  Jellicle put Naja up there so she could take a cute picture and write a funny story!   Not so!  The next photo is proof that Naja is a monkey and she climbed up there on her own!


Proof, I say!! Proof!

Upon scaling the top shelf, the baby monkey encountered a road block. She couldn't quite figure out how to breach the cornice to reach her goal.


Jellicle has no doubt the baby monkey will solve this puzzle eventually so she is trying to come up with plan B to save the plants.  Possibly a cage for either the plants or the baby monkey!



Sunday, June 24, 2012

Pavlov's Dog

Jellicle's camera makes a chiming sound when activated.  This is bothersome when she is trying to sneak a shot of the kittehs in action.

She also sometimes takes a picture of food.  Recently, Jellicle prepared a dish that was highly intriguing to Kitteh noses.  Naja and Prishe were convinced that the tender scallops sauted in garlic and butter could only be intended for them . 

Jellicle was hard pressed to hold the camera steady with one hand while fending off willing taste testers with the other.  After managing a few decent snaps, the food was consumed by Jellicle (much to the disappointment of Naja and Prishe).

Later that week................

Jellicle turns on the camera.

CHIME!

Naja and Prishe race to the kitchen.  They jump up on the table and begin meowing frantically, apparently under the mistaken belief that Jellice is about to take another food picture (hopefully more scallops).....

Prishe:  Where is it? Where is it?

Naja:  Wait for me! My legs are shorter

Meow! Meow!

Prishe:  Is it on the stove?
Naja: Is it on the counter?

                                                            Naja remains unconvinced...


Disclaimer:  Kittehs are not allowed on the table, stove or counter (and Jellicle's voice is growing hoarse from telling them that).  Kittehs are never given table food (except the two or three times Naja chewed up a loaf of bread when Jellicle wasn't looking).

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Tunnel Vision


Stalking:  The rules of engagement

1. Hide
Prishe: Mommy, you are blowing my cover!

 2. Be Stealthy
Prishe:  Shhh be vewy qwiet, I'm hunting Wabbit!


3.  Learn from the Jedi
Prishe:  I do not go to the prey, the prey comes to me!

 
4. Do not let boredom dull your senses

Hone your skills while waiting

5. Be ready to pounce
as soon as your prey is sighted.


6. Stay alert
Your prey may appear from any direction


7. Inspect the tunnel before blindly entering
Naja:  Your prey may be hiding and waiting for YOU!


Saturday, June 2, 2012

Green Thumbs

Gardening is another great summer hobby.  Even house plants respond to more light and warmer temperatures with a growth spurt.  It is important to take extra care of them now that the dormant season is behind.  Naja and Prishe have compiled this handy guide to maintaining healthy house plants, sure to be useful to indoor  Kittehs everywhere.

Green Thumb Rule 1
Trim new growth frequently.  This helps the plant grow faster.

Naja:  Like dis, just bite it right off.

Green Thumb Rule 2
To avoid trimming too much, use the fool proof Kitteh ruler:

Naja:  As far as you can reach standing up is about right.

Green Thumb Rule 3
Be sure to trim evenly all the way around the plant for best presentation.

Naja:  Don't be afraid to stretch yourself.  You can do it!

Green Thumb Rule 4
Always deadhead.  Removing old leaves will prompt new growth.

Prishe:  Dis one is quite tasty!

Green Thumb Rule 5
Don't worry if you over do it.  Placing a tall decoration in the pot  will distract the viewer.

Prishe:  Just a few more leafs to go!

Green Thumb Rule 6
Keep quiet about your activities to surprise and delight your owner.

Naja:  Quick! Run!  I hear mommy!

Green Thumb Rule 7
Act nonchalant when others praise your skill with plants.

Prishe:  Hi mommy, isn't this a lovely decoration.!